READ IT ALL. @j.raymond nailed it . Caption mine . We accept ordinary way too much, and we allow for mediocre love and relationships to occupy our space. We convince ourselves that it’s enough…or that it’s at least better than nothing. We shrink our needs and abandon ourselves by standing by and doing nothing about it.
I can sit here and tell all of you that you’re all enough…that you’re worthy of great love. That you belong and have the right to be understood. I can tell you all of these things, but so many of you won’t absorb it. So many will hear it and dismiss it. Maybe you’ll stop reading right now. Maybe you’ll feel your defenses going up, doubt settling in, or internal declarations of “well it’s never happened before.” And so instead of demanding that you accept that, what I’ll do instead is ask you to think about and explore what keeps you from believing it?
What are your belief systems and narratives around love and relationships? What did you see and experience growing up, or in past intimate relationships, and how did that influence your self worth?
Maybe a parent was unfaithful and destroyed your image of long lasting love. It was never spoken about and you saw them stay in an unfulfilling marriage. You took away a message that love doesn’t last, or this is what love is…maybe it’s okay or expected to have low expectations and not need/want more.
Maybe you’ve been shamed for being single for too long…”you seem so great though…I just don’t understand?!?” Perplexed family members, friends, and sometimes strangers don’t realize that shaming being single can influence a decision to step into/stay in an unheathy relationship. “Something is better than nothing, right?!” Or maybe you were the youngest in your family and every time you tried to share how you felt, you were overlooked and never heard. “You’re just the baby…what do you know?” And so, voicing fears and concerns…or just simple requests and emotional needs feels off the table. Maybe your narrative is that no one listens anyway, so what’s the point?
Dig into this. There is information there that will be an opportunity for transformation. #mindfulmft
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