We want vulnerability from others yet we’re wildly afraid to share our own. I mean it can literally stops us in our tracks, build walls, make us use humor, and make excuses.
Truth is, most of the time when others are stepping into a vulnerable place we’re able to meet them with empathy. We see the courage and bravery it takes and we try to connect and do our best to make them feel safe and secure. Maybe it’s with words, a friendly and compassionate gaze, or a squeeze of the hand suggesting “you’ve got this– I’m with you”.
We know we can do it for others yet we just don’t believe others can do it for us. And there’s the problem. If all parties truly want others to be vulnerable but fear it themselves, nobody actually walks out on the ledge.
This is why we talk about BRAVE — COURAGEOUS love. “An act of vulnerability met with an act of surrender…this is how lovers meet.” …this is how CONNECTION is made.
Vulnerability is damnnnn scary and yet it’s critical to deepening relationships. In fact, it’s the only way
We all want it AND we’re all afraid of it. And that makes it human. Raw. Real. Familiar. And worth it. Because even in a rejection is an understanding that the person who couldn’t connect still WANTED to (but was afraid…didn’t have the tools…etc). It doesn’t change the rejection but it still makes it worth it…reminding ourselves that everyone still wants it even if they’re not doing it.
Sit with your courage. Remember to be selective with your vulnerability (it’s not for everyone). Have boundaries with it (we can’t just dump) and continue to gently remind yourself to keep leaning in. There ARE plenty of humans who want what you want and are ready to meet you there. #mindfulmft
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